Author Archives: reba

“Joy is about what you believe, not what you feel”

Posted on by
2

The world at large has seemingly gone nuts. One prime example is that my fellow Americans have blamed the Confederacy for the Charleston shooting, and called for the banning of the Battle Flag, as well as other heritage and historic symbols. Since when did censorship become cool?!

With plenty of zinc oxide & silliness in tow, Houston & Jax enjoy our six-plus-hour beach day @ the Isle of Palms.

Forget real history, context, consistency, and common sense; the mob has their pitchforks out and are ready to demolish all remnants of Southernness. And if they have to destroy some Southerners along the way, well, that’s just an additional perk for the indoctrinators and re-educators of progressivism, and those that blindly follow the herd.

Next, the U.S. Supreme Court has exhibited in grand scale its fetish with tyranny by overturning state laws for traditional marriage. I personally think that consenting adults should not have to get permission from any government to join in a voluntary contract, and that adults should already be free to engage in the relationships of their choosing.

So, my Christian belief that marriage is something specific — a union between one man and one woman that is a reflection of our relationship with Christ — is really a moot point. As long as I’m not trying to coerce people though the force of government to abide by my worldview, what does it matter?

Donning Mr. Logan’s hat (due to a sunburn from the day before), Gabriel looks right @ home as a Kiawah beach bum.

And to round out this triad of oligarchical oppression, Congress just allowed the U.S. to become a member of the Trans-Pacific Partnership, which is, in short, a global governmental organization consisting of more than 600 members. Of those, 12 are countries and the rest are corporations. Nice.

It’s a trade deal and a fast-track treaty that will further subvert the rights of the people, on everything from medicine to the Internet to representation, and increases the power of cronyism worldwide. Yeah, it’s a brave, new world.

From a bunch of mob-mentality authoritarians running around, trying to control my every move and suppress my every thought; to the court and their one-size-fits-all mandates, to Congress’s incessant usurping of divided sovereignty and minority rights (with the ultimate minority being the individual), it’s easy to see why a lover of liberty can be down these days.

I affectionately refer to this as “Kiawah Boogie, Part 1.”

Libertarian author Larken Rose sums up my frustration aptly:

“Ya know, when people have been the targets of violence for so long, only to then turn around and initiate violence against others, it’s a prime example of the fact that most people do NOT actually advocate freedom, other than for themselves. Most people just want the club of ‘government’ on their side. If you’re not in favor of allowing EVERYONE his/her self-ownership, even if they use their freedom in ways you don’t like, then YOU are the driving force behind division and tyranny. For example, the people celebrating that VIOLENCE was used against people for not making a cake are far MORE of a threat to society than any narrow-minded but NON-violent bigot, racist, etc. To pretend you’re tolerant and that you love diversity, while demanding ENFORCED conformity, is pretty damn hypocritical.”

I understand that ours is a fallen world and that the Evil One and his manipulative and lying ways can be persuasive for the flesh of humanity. But I also know that Christ reigns supreme and that God’s will is done on earth as it is in heaven.

Part 2: As the sun sets on South Carolina, the Kiawah Boogie continues unabated.

So, I have to let the light of the Holy Spirit shine through me, even in these dark times. Thus, I’m trying my best to love on everyone, even the agents of oppression. Now that doesn’t mean that I won’t share my opinions in a civil way, try to gently persuade people, or even defend myself and my family against force, if the need should arise.

But the world is filled with hard hearts and people who are just hostile to both worldly and eternal freedom, and another heart of stone isn’t go to do anything to advance God’s kingdom here on earth. I won’t let the haters steal my affection for God, distance me from His peace, or put up barriers between me and the things I hold dear.

As one of my pastors said in a recent sermon:

“Joy is about what you believe, not what you feel … (and is) based on an unchanging reality, not our changing circumstances.”

It ain’t always easy being a Christian, but then again, no one ever said it would be. But it through Jesus that all things are possible. And thank you, God, for that.

Part 3: What happens in Charleston, stays in Charleston.

Sure, life has its anxieties and pressures, but there is so much living to do and so many blessings to cherish … like friends. So, the boys and I went to Charleston from June 17-21. We were actually there when that lunatic shot up a historic black church, killing nine innocent people.

An interesting thing was that while the mainstream media pumped their divisive narrative into homes across the nation, Charlestonians actually exhibited a keep-on-keepin’-on attitude. Yes, they grieved, but they also persevered ’cause that’s what Southerners do. In the face adversity, that rebel spirit was evident through their strength and kindness.

We took two trips to the beach during our visit. First was to Isle of Palms and the other was to Kiawah. Both are family-friendly with nice, big, clean expanses on which to spread out, thrilling waves for diving and riding without the undertow, and lots of pond-like areas for sand-castle building.

Zeke & Jax check out the U.S.S. Yorktown from the welcoming shade of our fun & breezy water taxi.

IOP is a more populated destination, whereas Kiawah is located in a nature sanctuary, giving you the feel of being on your own private ocean-front playground. Other than the overbearing seagulls at Kiawah, that was definitely our favorite of the two beaches.

We had a couple truly excellent meals. Christie, the kids, and I ate at Chez Fish on John’s Island. The food was scrumptious, but the service sure wasn’t what you’d expect from Southern hospitality and a restaurant with a nearly five-star Yelp rating. Oh well.

Stephen had arrived on Friday night, so on Saturday, both families trekked from Mount Pleasant to Charleston and back via water-taxi. Once downtown, we feasted on steamed oysters and other delicious sea creatures at Pearlz. Great service, awesome food, and microbrews crafted especially for the establishment. What’s not to like?

Proud to defend the Holy City against Yankee invaders, Gabriel keeps watch from atop a cannon in Battery Park.

In addition to yummy eats and super-fun boat rides, we soaked in the historic and steamy city on foot, walking around downtown, through the Battery, and then to Waterfront Park, where we let the kids cool off in the public fountains on this 100-plus-degree afternoon.

The irony of Fort Sumter being our backdrop for the day was not lost on me. It’s as if the landmark was a harbinger of the coming cultural battles proceeding the shooting, the SCOTUS decision, and the TPP passage.

Just as this fort endured the first shots of the War Between the States, it seems prescient in knowing the struggles for freedom and against central governance both then and now. I suppose, some things never change.

Zeke reads the decaying tombstones behind First Baptist Church, which (as the oldest Baptist church in the South) is considered the “Mother Church of Southern Baptists.”

Since Charleston, we have had some shenanigans around here, most notably celebrating Houston’s 8th birthday! The actual occasion was on June 26. Granny was in town for the weekend, so we went to see the movie “Inside Out,” and then came home and feasted on the birthday boy’s dessert pick: cheesecake!

Houston’s actual party was the following Tuesday night. He got to have two friends (Bret and a pal from Y baseball, Mitchell) over for afternoon play and more cheesecake, laser tag and bowling at Spare Time, and then back to the casa for a sleepover. Boyhood craziness abounded!

Some other stuff:

  • The 3 Amigos went to Mercy Hill Kids Week in late June for five days of learning about Jesus and hanging with friends: two of their favorite things!
  • The boys went to their CC/church buddy Josh’s birthday party. It was Mario Brothers-themed and featured a bounce house and piñata. Good times.
  • Last week, their CC pal, Tyrnan, came over for the afternoon. His grandmother had passed away, so the dudes took his mind off of that with Legos galore and by playing outside during a warm downpour.
  • Yesterday, the kids attended the Chevy Youth Baseball Clinic, where they got to learn some skills from the Greensboro Grasshoppers at the city’s fancy baseball park.

No better way to round out a steamy day of Charleston sightseeing than playing in the pineapple fountain @ Waterfront Park.

And last week, Houston underwent his first state-mandated educational testing. I chose the Woodcock-Johnston Cognitive Assessment, which was administered by a private contractor that a few other CC parents and I hired to test our kiddos in a relaxed atmosphere (my friend Rissa’s house).

Houston scored at the appropriate grade level for “passage comprehension,” which is not a surprise to me, since this language-arts discipline is usually challenging for him. But for the other 10 categories, Houston scored well into third-grade-level knowledge. Not too shabby for a rising third-grader. So proud of you Houston Lee!

Tarrying in town

Posted on by
2

So, we added another few cities — Knoxville, Charleston, and Austin — to our mix of possible relocation spots, before deciding (for the moment) that we think we just might stay around here. Classic, huh?!

The Dillingham dudes stand 5,946-feet high atop Grandfather Mountain.

Yes, we love the mountains. Yes, we are up for adventures. Yes, we are outgrowing our house. And yes, we are seeking like-minded folks.

But yes, we’ve also realized how great we have it here. We are blessed with growing friendships, incredible neighbors, an amazing church, and a supportive homeschool group filled with kind and generous families.

Throughout all of this deliberation, I think our main goal was setting out to create and build strong relationships with other humans. I suppose the most apt assessment would be that we were in search of community.

See, Stephen and I have felt like square pegs for a long time now. And when the rest of the world abounds with round holes, it can feel quite isolating. Sure, individualism is a precious thing, but no man is an island, and most people yearn for social interactions that foster growth.

Daddy & the boys soak in all the beauty of the Blue Ridge. So darn pretty.

But so what if I’m considered a bit of a dissident in one realm of my life and then a little of a renegade in the another? Really, is that anything new? And really, would I have it any other way?!

After all, I’ve always had a rebellious streak. I mean, after realizing way back in middle school the foolishness of following the crowd, I’ve done a pretty thorough job of bucking conformity ever since. Stephen and I always get a chuckle when talking about how subversive our lives really are.

Just a few examples of our counter-cultural ways:

  • we’re married, monogamous, and have more than 1.2 kids;
  • we love Jesus, smoke cigars, drink beer, and occasionally cuss;
  • we believe in liberty, but also in virtue, morality, and objective truth;
  • we’re homeschoolers, who decided to homeschool well before we became Christians;
  • we often have more in common with the tattooed, pierced atheists than we do with church-going folks;
  • we attend a Gospel-centered house of worship, not a self-help church;
  • we delight in debate, disagreement, and discussing opinions that differ from ours;
  • we cling to our guns and religion, but we aren’t Republicans and we don’t say the Pledge of Allegiance.

After the boys & I scale Split Rock, Gabriel & I take a selife in front of some brilliant Flame Azalea bushes, which are scattered about the Grandfather landscape.

Stephen and I have discussed and prayed much about all this, and we just figured that God made us who we are for a reason and maybe we’re not supposed to fit in in order to glorify His purposes. Perhaps that’s our cross to bear.

And since we have come to appreciate all the incredible folks we know in our hometown, we might just stay put. It just took us a while and lots of reflection to see that the grass is actually pretty green right here.

Sure, we may relocate to another part of the county in an effort to shorten commutes and get a bit more space in the home, especially if Granny comes to live with us. (Keep your fingers crossed!) But we’re leaning toward not uprooting in a major way.

Instead, we will focus on the relationships we have here, try to grow in community, flourish in faith and knowledge, and still have as many adventures as we are able. That’s the plan for now … but knowing us, it can always change.

Yep, great family picture … other than my closed eyes & thunder thighs. Yikes! Still, everyone else looks rather handsome.

We finally took the boys to the summit of Grandfather Mountain — the wondrous and ancient pinnacle we’ve passed so many times on the way to Granny’s house. In fact, she got us free tickets to the notable Western Carolina destination to help ring in her much-deserved retirement!

After crossing the scary Mile High Swinging Bridge, we just let the quiet splendor of the Appalachians speak to us. Man, do I relish the mountains.

We also saw bears, otters, deer, a cougar, and a bald eagle in the wildlife habitat; climbed Split Rock for another sweet view; ate tons of locally made fudge; and (most importantly) got to spend some quality time with our beloved Granny!

Here we have a breathtaking backdrop, my husband NOT making a silly face (which is his usual M.O. for photos), & me … blinking. Sigh. Oh well, it’s still a nice shot taken by steady-hand Houston.

Other happenings:

  • The boys survived and thrived at Mountain Top Youth Camp. I’m especially proud of Gabe and Zeke, who tend to lean on mama a whole lot more than does Houston. Way to go, big boys!
  • Cousin Rick visited for the first time in almost six years. It was a chill weekend, and his rekindled passion for guitar has inspired Stephen and me to dust off ours. We plan on building are now-tender callouses into sturdy, guitar-playing machinery!
  • Gabriel and Zeke had their first piano lesson last Thursday! Their maturity with Miss Julie was evident, and our tripled time at her house was surprisingly calm and productive (i.e., we did school). I pray we maintain this happy pattern.
  • The dudes wrapped up baseball in late May. The Cardinals weren’t the best team, but boy, did everyone drastically improve their skills over the season. Also, a heartfelt thanks goes out to Daddy for getting them to all their practices!

Gabriel proudly displays his hand-crafted bow & arrow on pickup day @ Mountain Top. By that grin, I think it’s safe to say he had a blast @ homeschool camp!

  • We had our community group leaders, Andrew and Lindsey, and their daughter to our house for dinner recently. It was nice to get to know them better ’cause they are some solid folks.
  • Another great person is my pal, Adair, who had us over to her neighborhood pool last week. Her oldest kid, Will, is one of the 3 Amigos’ best buds, and we just so enjoy spending time with their whole crew. Such cool, genuine people!
  • The boys have gotten tight with Dixie, our homeschooled neighbor, who has always been a pal, but never really a BFF. But now, they all eagerly run out to meet each other and play four-square during “school day” lunch breaks, and get together for volleyball and water-gun battles in the evening. Good neighbors, rock!

The boys don’t want to leave camp & keep on playing “Ga Ga” w/ their friends. The game was all the rage for the first few days they were back home, but now Monopoly is again in the top spot.

Last but certainly not least, we went to Richmond to visit Gramsey, who recently had brain surgery! Yes, you heard me right. She had gotten CT-scan for a pain on one side of her head when the docs found a potentially deadly aneurysm on the opposite side.

Her operation went well, and her recovery has been quite speedy. She just has to avoid picking up heavy things and getting her heart rate too high for a while, which is actually challenging for my workhorse mother, but Papa is keeping her in check.

Strangely, the sciatica in her leg and hip, and the probably pinched nerve in her neck and head (opposite side of the aneurysm) are causing her more pain and grief than her post-surgery recovery. We love you, Gramsey, and are praying for your good health!

I pledge allegiance to only one authority

Posted on by
Reply

The 3 Amigos are at summer camp right now; well, I guess it’s really “spring camp,” but we homeschoolers have to call it something, I suppose.

But before they left, they wrapped another successful year of Awana, where for 10 months they learned about Jesus and memorized tons of Scripture. Seriously, they can say way more Bible verses than can many longtime Christians. Impressive and fun!

At the CC end-of-the-year celebration, the dudes each got special certificates (well, not that special, since all the CC kiddos received them, but the boys think they’re swell). Zeke’s character award was for being “Enthusiastic,” Gabriel’s was “Energetic,” and Houston’s was “Focused, disciplined, and analytical.”

“Golden Garden Club” overwhelmingly wins by a show of hands as the official name of our summer hangout group.

Yep, those descriptions are quite apt. And even though I adore the twins’ vitality and remain cognizant of their individuality, unique learning styles, and personalities, I still look forward to Gabriel and Zeke’s growing maturity.

In fact, they’ve shown increased self-control even since CC ended, as we’ve still been doing education daily and plan on continuing throughout the summer. Now, I did start using essential oils per the suggestion of my pal, Holly, who says vetiver and ylang ylang are supposed to calm and relax.

However, I think the oils aren’t really all they’re cracked up to be, so I’m giving all the credit to Gabe and Zeke! And at least we all smell good.

I was asked to tutor CC next year. I thought about doing it in order to get some money back on tuition, but decided to decline the offer. I figured that saving a few bucks would not be worth the time and effort it would take to prep for teaching a three-hour class every Tuesday for 24 weeks.

Zeke & his new pal, Trenton, work as a team to get an entire row of seeds into the earth.

I also realized that the boys and I have finally gotten into an education groove. Hey, it only took three years, y’all!

Couple that with all the other places we have to be and things we have to do (like adding in piano lessons for the twins this summer!), and I didn’t want to upset our already delicate balance. After all, a frazzled, stressed-out mama ain’t good for nothin’!

The dudes have two baseball games remaining and seem to dramatically improve with each game. Stephen thinks Houston will be ready for more competitive ball next year, but the twins may need one more round at the Y just to hone skills, better understand rules, etc.

Another big seasonal happening is the Golden Garden Club. This is a bi-monthly summer playgroup of nine CC families and is hosted by Martha (who was Zeke’s tutor his first year of CC) and her five daughters.

The gatherings include horticulture stories, hands-on activities, eating, swimming, trampoline-jumping, and running around being free! It’s such a nice way to learn more about growing veggies and have a lot of fun in the process.

Houston uses a 12-inch stick to measure the spacing & then poke a hole in the dirt, so other kids can simply drop corn seeds into the garden.

However, the kick-off of club begins with a different family leading the Pledge of Allegiance each time. Is there no escape from the propagandistic racket pushed by government schools, even among my fellow home educators? Sigh.

“I believe a man is happier, and happy in a richer way, if he has ‘the freeborn mind.’ … For independence allows an education not controlled by Government; and in adult life it is the man who needs and asks nothing of Government who can criticize its acts and snap his fingers at its ideology. Read Montaigne; that’s the voice of a man with his legs under his own table, eating the mutton and turnips raised on his own land. Who will talk like that when the State is everyone’s schoolmaster and employer?” ― C.S. Lewis

As some of you may know, our family doesn’t recite the pledge. We have varied reasons for doing so, but here’s an overview, starting with the pledge’s sordid inception.

  • It was written by Francis Bellamy, a Christian Socialist of the late 19th-century progressive era and member of the Boston-born elitist socialist movement known as Nationalism.
  • Bellamy’s words echo the sentiments of his famous cousin, Edward Bellamy, who was an author of socialist-utopian novels, like “Looking Backward,” which greatly influenced none other than progressive public-school advocate, John Dewey.
  • In 1892, the pledge was published in a leading magazine of the day called “The Youth’s Companion” (YC) to ostensibly commemorate Columbus Day in public schools. This occasion would include the pledge recitation, as well as a new flag-raising ceremony.
  • Notably, most schools at that time didn’t have flags in the classroom nor in front of the buildings. So in 1888, YC began a campaign to sell flags to schools.

The kids do taste tests on a variety of seeds before planting. Among a sea of picky eaters, my little foodies & their adventurous palates thoroughly enjoy this portion of the lesson!

  • Having been fired from his minister job for incessantly preaching that Jesus was a socialist, Bellamy was hired by YC to help with the public-relations effort to push flags into schools.
  • This campaign included the National Education Association as a sponsor, and Congress and President Benjamin Harrison making a national proclamation about the Columbus Day pledge-and-flag event.
  • YC ended up selling more than 26,000 flags to schools for the celebration. Just goes to show that ensuring indoctrination while making some cash is always the right recipe for socialist success.
  • The original pledge was recited while raising a stiff right hand upward. Due to its similarities to the Nazi salute, this practice was discontinued during WWII and replaced with putting the right hand over one’s heart.
  • “Under God” was added to the pledge by Congress and President Eisenhower in 1954 at the urging of the Knights of Columbus.
  • And so the battle over these words has become an all-encompassing America straw man: while atheist-socialists fight to have the pledge taken out of schools, limited-government folks think they’re being both patriotic and faithful in promoting the pledge’s prominence.
  • There’s even more skeletons in the pledge’s closet, but you get the point.

Besides the unsavory history, a pledge is a serious and solemn promise and should not be taken lightly. And just because it’s, at worst, a forced loyalty oath of subordination, and at best, a socially sanctioned habit that few question doesn’t mean that I, as a student of history and a lover of freedom, should conform.

Gabriel takes his seed-planting job very seriously. A perk? Getting your hands & feet muddy!

Despite the shock of this stance, we simply want to avoid the idolatrous nature of vowing allegiance to a piece of cloth, our country’s alleged symbol of freedom. Instead, we will worship, praise, and pledge our devotion to the real thing, Jesus Christ.

God is our authority. And because He is loving, gracious, merciful, and forgiving, and we willingly submit to Him. (For people of faith, please check out this thought-provoking article.)

Moreover, the pledge is at odds with our libertarian principles. Thematically, it promotes a nationalistic dogma in order to cut at the heart of individualism and self-determination, and encourages a loyalty to state in order to seize power from we the people.

I also have a real problem with the language, specifically the word “indivisible.” If you can’t leave something you think is unjust, well, that’s antithesis of liberty.

American patriots during the Revolution wanted to break from the British Empire by ending their relationship with the crown. So really, our country was born in divisibility.

After a hard day toiling in the garden, the boys get to relax in their friend Will’s hot tub. What a hard life they lead?!

They believed that no association should be coerced, especially one to an overbearing central government. And all the states made doggone sure that this federal union was a voluntary compact before they ratified the U.S. Constitution.

Secession is part of our heritage, no matter what progressive pundits or mainstream Civil War historians say. Questioning the republic and the flag for which it stands is as American as apple pie; it is truly in line with our founding as a nation of conscience.

If you don’t believe me, check out the Virginia and Kentucky Resolutions. Here you’ll find that both Madison and Jefferson challenged the authority of one governmental entity ruling over the “sovereign” and “independent” many by promoting the remedies of “nullification” and “dissolution.” Sure sounds like a lot of divisibility going on to me.

But we aren’t barbarians, for goodness sake. We do have manners. So, at the opening of CC or garden club, we simply stand out of respect to our friends, but we don’t do the recitation or place our hands upon our hearts. Nuff said.