Liberty in Appalachia?!

Posted on April 19, 2015 by reba

We’re still on the fence about moving to New Hampshire, or even moving at all, for that matter. Things are good, but we’re kinda bored.

Here’s the crux of it: Do we keep carving out our own niche here as Christians who happen to lean libertarian? Do we go searching for some kind of liberty-minded community in a far-off place in the hopes that our differences wouldn’t be so diverse as to get us shunned? Or are we seeking something that may not even exist?

“Here among the mountains, the pinions of thought should be strong, and one should see the errors of men from a calmer height of love and wisdom.” â€“Â Ralph Waldo Emerson

It sounds like an oxymoron, I know. But like I said previously, many in the liberty movement tend to super-categorize and label beliefs, practices, and lifestyles that run counter to theirs, thinking they know what’s best for all, instead of letting individuals and their families make these very personal choices.

Check out the boys’ $40 TIE fighter Lego set, which they got as a reward for Zeke finally having bladder control at night. Zeke got it for the obvious reason (way to go, dude!), but Houston and Gabriel also earned it for selflessly sharing their beds lo those many nights they had to share a bed due to bro’s wet sheets.

I suppose all humans do that to some degree, but I don’t like the feeling that I’m being boxed in to some kind of one-size-fits-all group that doesn’t let me be free to be who I am, to parent how I choose, to believe what I believe. That’s the point of freedom, right?! Oh how I yearn for live and let live.

In Christianity, we call this dichotomyÂ essentials vs. non-essentials. The essentials are knowing that Jesus is the Son of God, who died for our sins and was resurrected; and through Him, we receive grace, forgiveness, and life eternal with the Father. All else is a non-essential — theological topics of debate, deeper introspection, and often derision.

The battle over non-essentials is what drives so many people away from Christianity, or at least the Christian church. In the Old Testament, it’s what is referred to as The Law.

The 3 Amigos have a fierce battle with their buddy, Bret, the morning after a sleepover. Houston has the best sword, whereas Zeke’s is duct-taped and held straight with popsicle sticks, Gabriel’s is the pitchfork from an old hand-me-down Halloween costume, and poor Bret’s is the stick from a broken shovel. Boys are so resourceful.

These dictates, which are handed down from a governing religious body, end up keeping people so focused on jumping through the hoops of following the rules, and looking “religious,” that they end up losing focus on experiencing and growing their personal and redemptive relationship with God.

You know, works-based stuff, not the life-transforming stuff of changing one’s hard heart. As my pastor puts it, all the world’s religions are about doing outside things in order to achieve an inner conversion. But Christianity is about letting God change you on the inside, which in turn creates the revolutionaryÂ outside change.

“Now that I am living in God’s gift to earth, the isothermal range of the Blue Ridge Mountains that runs down the border line of Western North and South Carolina, my mind is geared for production.” â€“Â Donald McKay

Similarly, understanding liberty allows people to promote freedom for all, even when they disagree on the many non-essentials of this world.Â So, what are the essentials of libertarianism, you ask?

Voluntary association, respect for private property, and non-aggression. That’s it. Everything else is up for debate. Period.

Although he missed this particular pitch, Zeke is the best hitter of the boys. This is evidenced by the recent day when Stephen took them to the batting cages, and Zeke hit dozens of balls!

Still wary of moving to the Northeast, Stephen stumbled upon a growing liberty movement in Asheville. Pros: We could live in the mountains while remaining in our beloved Carolina, as well as be much closer to Granny and still not too far from Richmond family.

Cons: Asheville is just brimming with big-government hippies. But hey, right now we live in one of the bluest counties in our state, so why not?!

One other con is that the “official” liberty community’s main tenets is peaceful parenting. Well, the gist there is that even though it sounds nice, PP is not something which I would want to adhere to or condone as my family model on the whole.

“Seen from this point, a bare ridge at the extremity of the open land … we looked up at this blue barrier as if it were some fragment of a wall which anciently boundedÂ the earth in that direction.”Â â€“Â Henry David Thoreau

First of all, it is only through the Holy Spirit that I ever don’t do all the bad things that come so natural to me, like yelling, and being short-tempered, high-strung, and selfish. It’s not my politics that enables me to (sometimes) be patient, calm, selfless, empathetic, and unemotional when raising my three beautifully and uniquely made boys.

Gabriel’s biggest asset to baseball are his throwing skills, and he caught a grounder at the big game. He’s got some work to do on batting, but that’s what little league is all about: having fun and learning!

It’s solely my faith that sustains me, equips me, and gives me strength to handle this thing called parenthood. So, we’re not a child-led family, we are Jesus led. We believe in punishments, consequences, and saying “no.”

We believe that it’s up to each family to lovingly determine the discipline methods or strategies that work best for them or each child individually. We believe that families are the apex of the personal and that their guiding principles should be decided by only those who dwell within it.

We believe in parental authority: that moms and dads are responsible for their children’s upbringings, educations, and well being. We believe that all people are born innately sinful, hence, our belief in many of the aforementioned items. Many of these beliefs run counter to the PP philosophy, which also touts man’s innate goodness.

But more importantly, we believe that there is not one correct way with all others being incorrect. As long as you have the essentials right, whether it be in your Christianity, libertarianism, or parenthood, all the rest are non-essentials of these mind-and-heart journeys.

Houston is a pretty strong player, but like most kids his age, he can use some polishing of skills across the board. Daddy and I are just excited that he and his bros are putting themselves out there to be part of the Cardinals!

But who says we have to be a part of this particular liberty community, right? As long as people are open-minded and kind and willing to discuss issues that could bring about more freedom in our time (basically, their view of the non-essentials and mine), that really is the best I can hope for in this fallen world.

Plus, did I mention that the leaders of our church community group (the Bible study we have been attending for more than a year now) are thinking about moving to Asheville, too? Lindsey and AndrewÂ are smart, sweet folks who, although quite younger than us, are extremely mature in their faith, so having insti-friends would be a perk for sure!

â€œTwenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didnâ€™t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.â€Â â€“ Mark Twain

Plus, should we happen to get involved with a liberty community that is hostile to Christianity, it would be a great benefit to have our friends there to help keep us on the narrow path. Gotta have accountability and all that.

Simultaneously, though, we could be the salt and light within a secular group, smashing the preconceived notions of what it means to know Jesus, spread his love, and want to grow freedom through Him here on earth and in the hereafter. Hmmm, could be a plan!

Sure, Asheville might not have everything we want. But some other perks of the beautiful mountain city are multiple CC communities, great restaurants, awesome music, interesting people, affordable housing, and a new ADVENTURE!

A moment in sports history: the bases loaded with ALL Dillinghams! Zeke’s on first, Houston’s on second, and Gabriel’s on third â€¦ and then the Cardinals go on to win the game 8 to 7. Coincidence? I think not!

Other happenings:

The dudes are completely Stanley-obsessed these days. I think our 12-year-old, fat feline definitely appreciates the abundant love and attention, as opposed to the years of toddler abuse and high-pitched tantrums. Thanks for not peeing on the boys’ puzzle anymore, Stan!
The 3 Amigos had their firstÂ baseball game on Saturday. They’re all on the same team: St. Louis Cardinals for ages 6-8. It’s aÂ coach-pitch, which means each player is pitched to, but a tee will be used if the he can’t get a hit.
Stephen finally watched Red Dawn (one of his all-time favorite movies) with the boys. It’s a bit mature for them, but we figured that with near-constant pausing for questions and explanations, it was okay. Plus, it tied in well with our Cold War history lessons!
Stephen taught the kids five-card draw, another leap of a maturity, but they have really caught on. You should see them bluffing and trying to keep a poker face â€¦ just too cute!
The 3 Amigos have had tons of outings both during the “school year” and since CC wrapped up, including multiple playdates, a couple sleepovers, a birthday party, a piano party, seeing play about the Lost Colony, and going to an astronomy event with Daddy!

The boys relax after a tour at the Civil Rights Museum. Inconspicuously located here in our very own city, this is where on February 1, 1960, four freshman from North Carolina A&T sparked a peaceful revolution that would forever change America.

Along with some CC pals, we visited the Civil Rights Museum, which is in the Woolworth’s where the Greensboro Four sparked the sit-in movement. It was actually quite a great tour: historically accurate without being too PC.
We also attended a baroque quartet performance. We took my community-group pal, Tristan, who is very pregnant and I think appreciated the diversion.
Tristan organized a karaoke night for the gals in our Bible study. I rocked out some Loretta Lynn and Patsy Cline, which probably came off as a bit strange to the 20-somethings in our crew, but I embrace being the old, classic-country-loving lady in the group!
I’ve also had a dinner out with my buddy, Holly, and gotten some major hang time with another pal, Adair. Both of these ladies have become dear friends to me. And although we don’t get to see each other that much due to mama duties (they each have four kids, and Holly is praying for more!), I cherish being even a small part of their lives. Thanks for the fun, girls!

Live free or die?!

Posted on March 16, 2015 by reba

Late winter in North Carolina was marked by lots of snow, ice, and extremely cold temperatures. This gave us a good taste of what life would be like in New Hampshire — not for a vacation, but for a relocation. And boy do I love the snow!Â

“There is nothing in the world more beautiful than the forest clothed to its very hollows in snow. It is the still ecstasy of nature, wherein every spray, every blade of grass, every spire of reed, every intricacy of twig, is clad with radiance.” â€•Â William Sharp

It’s not that anything’s going badly here. In fact, life is pretty darn good in NC. We absolutely love our neighbors, our church, our CC and Awana communities, the low-key vibe of our city, and being within a short drive of family, the beach, and the mountains.

Houston & Zeke have a blast sledding with neighbors on one of the warmer snowy days this winter.

But a few things have lit a fire under both Stephen and me to get us thinking seriously about a possible long-distance move:

1. As the boys get bigger seemingly by the second, we are outgrowing this 1,400-square-foot house. I wouldn’t want a huge house by any means, but we could definitely use a bit more living space (especially a couple of bedrooms for the kids, as opposed to the one small room shared by them all), as well as additional storage.

2. I’m burned out from being in the van so much getting to and from our many activities. It’s basically a 1/2-hour trek anywhere we go, so an hour round trip almost daily. We make the most of our commutes, doing lots of “car school,” listening to audio books and good music, and usually having deep conversations.

But I was seriously pricing foreclosures closer to town for a while, until Stephen said (and rightly so), if we’re going to go through the trouble of moving, we should really move.

“I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says, ‘Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again.'”Â â€•Â Lewis Carroll

Gabriel & Zeke shoot me snaggle-tooth grins before heading out into our backyard winter wonderland for snowy shenanigans.

3. We don’t have any really great friends here. We have many acquaintances, and people we care for and who care for us, but we just don’t hang out with these folks often enough to even make it an issue.

The kids are the same: they have lots of buds, but not any friends they see constantly, without whom their worlds would shatter. And the boys are so extroverted and outgoing, that I know they’d simply revel in a move. In fact, they dudes have said they’re ready for such an adventure!

4. For a few years now, we had been mullingÂ over the possibility of relocating abroad, specifically to Chile, but that just seems so doggone permanent. A trek to the Northeast, however, could be undone without not near as much hassle and expense.

5. Our visit to New Orleans inspired us to seek a change of sceneryÂ and to want to mix things up. We’ve been in the Greensboro area since 2001 and in our current house since 2003, so why not try something different?!

6. The company for which Stephen works has offices in NH, so he wouldn’t have to change jobs. He would merely have to set up a transfer, so income could be immediate, and Stephen wouldn’t have to subject himself to the torture of a job search â€¦ unless, of course, heÂ felt the urge to try something new.

Zeke nails Houston with a giant snowball during a friendly battle. Great aim, dude!

7. Most importantly, though, is that NH is and has been an island of liberty-mindedness in a sea of American socialism for a long time.Â In fact, there are literallyÂ 101 Reasons to Move to New Hampshire. (ThisÂ video can shed some light on many of the political and financial reasons we’re considering a move.)

“What good is the warmth of summer without the cold of winter to give it sweetness?”Â â€• John Steinbeck

Some of my personal favorites about New Hampshire:

it has a limited income tax, taxing onlyÂ dividend and interest income at 5%, and has no capital gains tax;
it’s homeschool-friendly and doesn’t require parents to submit annual evaluations to the state;
it values all school choice, givingÂ low- and middle-income parents more options by offering tax credits to corporations that make donations to nonprofit scholarship organizations;
citizens vote on their budgets line-by-line during town meeting;
it has small voting districts (only about 3,300 people per state House of Representative);
officials in both the legislative and executive branches are elected every two years, giving voters the opportunity to clean house more often than in other states;
legislators are paid a salary of $100 per year, helping ensure the existence of a citizen legislature committed to public service;
it’s the only state to pass a law with language supporting citizens’ rights to jury nullification;
it expressly protects the citizensâ€™ rights to revolution and secession through the state constitution;
it has an abundance of pro-liberty media;
it rejected the REAL ID (national identification card) program;
its state law prohibits the use of eminent domain for private use or private development;
it’s the least expensive state in which to own a vehicle;
it’s the only state that does not have a mandatory seat belt law for adults;
it’s pro-gun and is the only state with no laws restricting knife ownership (except for convicted felons).

Gabriel takes it upon himself to clear the sidewalk of super-slippery ice. Now there’s a can-do attitude that’ll come in handy in New Hampshire!

The “Live Free or Die” belief of local control, minimizing the bureaucratic growth of government, and empowering the individual has a long tradition inÂ the Granite State. This is precisely why it was chosen as the home for theÂ Free State Project. So, liberty is not only alive in well in New Hampshire, it is on the rise!

As with everything, there are inevitably a few cons:

1. NH is inÂ New freakin’ England. Gasp! Being a Southern gal, I fared well in Wisconsin and Colorado, but the West and Midwest are much less abrasive than the blue-blood lineage and our-poop-don’t-stink attitude of Northeasterners. Bless their hearts!

I mean, c’mon, Massachusetts would be directly south and New York just a stone’s throw away. Eek! Yet, we do have Mass neighbors, whom we adore, so perhaps I’m just painting with way too broad a brush.

I’m certain there are salt-of-the-earth people there, just like everywhere. Plus, folks come from all over the country to take part in the growing liberty movement in NH.

The 3 Amigos get silly w/ Maddie & Dixie during a sledding snow day!

There are too many things I’d miss about the South to list here. But suffice it to say, I’d be approaching this move as if I were relocating to another country. Different culture. Different language. Different kinda people. So, open-mindedness would be an imperative!

2. It’s far from family. There’s no getting around this. It would suck, but we would definitely travel back South and hopefully folks would come visit us in beautiful NH. There are the Green Mountains for snow sports during the winter, and the Atlantic coast and Lake Winnipesaukee for beach fun during the temperate summers.

3. Libertarianism is just brimming with atheists. As an ardent supporter of religious pluralism, this is not a problem for me at all. However, just as in greater American society, there is often hostility toward Christianity, and castigation and pigeon-holing of the Christian as being backwoods anti-intellectuals.

But no one ever said following Christ was going to be easy. In fact, the Bible explicitly states the opposite. So, we would have to be both bold in faith and nonconformist in deed.

Houston & Stanley are what I call “partners in crime.” Simply put, they have a reached a point in their relationship of mutual admiration & love. It’s so endearing to see these two “cool cats” hanging together.

Still, my hope is that liberty lovers will practice what they preach and be open to heterogeneous peoples. I want to be judged by the content of my character, as an individual, and a person willing to engage all different stripes, even if I march to the beat of a different drummer.

My hope is for honest discussion and mature debate with folks with whom I disagree. Perhaps the process of hashing out philosophies, world views, and guiding principles will help us to grow in our understanding of truth â€¦ or at the very least, be good drinking buddies!

Diversity of thought is a good and necessary thing that is way too often ignored in our coarse culture. But I’m hopeful that freedom of opinion and belief systems will be of the highest regard with Free Staters and in NH at large. Civility is really all that is necessary.

Moreover, some of libertarianism’s deepest thinkers and vocal activists also happen to be Christians. This cool list includes Tom Woods, Lew Rockwell, Judge Andrew Napolitano, Norman Horn, Laurence Vance, Ron Paul, and Jeffrey Tucker. So, we’re among good company.

We’ll seek out like-minded folks in both faith and liberty, and sometimes those two will cross paths. But we’ll just have to remain cognizant of the pitfalls and trickery of this world, and be sure to keep ourÂ armor of God on snug and tight.

All the dudes are creative, but I find it particularly cool how Gabriel really goes out of his way to turn pieces of trash into art â€¦ like this homemade “flaming car jump,” which he crafted out of pieces of cardboard and paper leftover from another project.

Staying strong with and through the Lord will allow us to keep focus on the narrow path: following Jesus, sharing the good news, and doing our small part to try to bring about the kingdom of heaven here on earth. Just like good theology, a political philosophy always has room to grow and mature, so we look forward to living, learning, and loving!Â

“Our footprints always follow us on days when it’s been snowing. They always show us where we’ve been, but never where we’re going.”Â â€• Winnie the Pooh

I know the grass is always greener, but Stephen and I aren’t going into this possible relocation haphazardly. In fact, we don’t plan on doing much of anything (besides keeping our debt low and tending to some home repairs) until after we take the family to PorcFestÂ 2016.

Misc. 3-Amigo updates

Gabriel finally lost both his front teeth. He’s looking so darn cute that it’s difficult to discipline him. Zeke has lost only one front tooth. But that stubborn tooth was loose since before Christmas and didn’t come out until â€¦ March 8!

Here are the dudes numbers from their annual wellness appointments: Houston weighsÂ 63 3/4 pounds and is 53 1/4″ tall; Gabriel 54 pounds, 46 3/4″ tall; and Zeke 53 1/2 pounds,Â 46 3/4″ tall. Growing like weeds!

And the boys main obsession these days (besides Minecraft, of course) is “Where’s Waldo?” Thanks for all the hand-me-down books, Cousin Rick and Aunt Lisa!