Carpe diem

I’m finally seizing the day regarding a couple longtime goals of mine.

ARBS volunteering

First, I began volunteering at our local pregnancy care center in February. Sure, I’m just in the shadowing phase, but I’m so excited that the ball is finally rolling on this worthy work.

I actually took part in training more than a year ago and even shadowed once in early 2013, but then something happened, or didn’t happen. I’m not really sure of the details. But the miscommunication and/or mishandling last winter was just enough for me to get wrapped up in all my other to dos and tasks.

Looking back now, I firmly believe it was the devil trying to deceive me into giving up on this purposeful plan. After all, he is the great liar who relishes in our culture of death and brokenness, and whispers excuses into the ears of all who care about life. Well, I won’t get fooled again!

The mass amounts of snow Carolina got in February let the kids to do all sorts of extreme physical feats, like Zeke’s death-defying pipe jump!

As opposed to being an advocate for women experiencing crisis pregnancies, which was my original objective, the Lord has since called me to the abortion-recovery Bible study (ARBS), a 10-week class for women who are trying to cope with the trauma of taking the life of their own child or children.

Whether the abortion was recent or long ago, women are created with a maternal instinct. And when that bond is broken — voluntarily through abortion or involuntarily through miscarriage — the woman can feel the emotional repercussions of that loss for a lifetime.

Choosing to end your child’s existence is not a simple matter, despite what the mega-million-dollar abortion industry and the mainstream media would have us believe. It belies the nature of women’s physical bodies, it wounds their hearts, and forever tears at their psyches.

Check out Houston’s makeshift snowboarding skills. Sure, he’d never attempted it before, but no better time to try than when there’s a whiteout going down in the South!

It’s interesting that those who are the most vehement supporters of abortion are the very ones harmed most by the grand conspiracy (minus the unborn, of course). Such is the cunning nature of the evil one. Tricky SOB.

It’s a Stockholm-Syndrome mentality in which these social hostages (post-abortive women) exhibit an ardent and passionate defense of their captors (the abortion racket), despite the physical and mental abuse they’ve endured. It’s irrational. It’s emotional. It’s sad.

But it’s how some humans handle such suffering and stress. It’s a dejected survival skill that has created an army of willful victims, martyrs for the movement, and collateral damage for the cause, as well as a brigade of proponent apologists and foot-soilder equivocators too numerous to mention.

Gabriel knows that blizzards are also a great time to hang w/ a snowman, make snow angels, & eat snow cream & drink hot chocolate w/ friends!

Thus, my aim is to facilitate in the healing of those who have come to understand the magnitude of lost life and the subsequent struggles of living with that monumental decision. It’s an enormous task, but with God’s grace, it can be done.

I know people who have participated in abortion-recovery and they are proof positive of the redemptive love of God’s healing. The ARBS experience helps to open their minds to the truth and their hearts to God’s love and forgiveness, thus, washing away grief and anxiety.

Through repentance and ultimate acceptance of dark past deeds, these women have not only been freed from the shackles of suffering, but they’ve also gained a strength to want to aid others in their own spiritual restoration. And true peace can only be found through the life-sustaining power of the Gospel, which is at the core of the class.

I am so blessed to even have a chance to serve in such a role, and I look forward to every challenge, every revelation, and meeting every unique woman. If you would, please pray for the pregnancy care center and the incredible life-affirming work they do joyfully in spite of the cultural jeers, political hurdles, and social derision.

On a recent toasty, spring-like afternoon, Houston & Gabriel hike around Liberty Loop w/ Jackson the day after his first-ever sleepover; what a treat to be able to host our sweet friend for such a monumental occasion!

Mercy Hill community group

Second, I’m finally involved in a weekly Bible study, which our church calls a “community group.” It’s a co-ed thing that both Stephen and I can attend.

Do you remember the Wednesday morning women’s group I went to a few times late last year? Well, that ended up not working out.

See, that’s the same day as the kids’ Awana, and trekking into twice in a day (with rushed homeschooling sandwiched in between) was just killing me. Then it seemed like every other group I looked into also met on Wednesdays nights, right during Awana.

I was further frustrated because one of the main reasons we left our former church was because Stephen and I felt like we never really “fit” into the two groups we tried out there. And we gave it quite the noble effort, considering we attended that church for two years.

Zeke (Batman) thoroughly enjoys dress-up during our greatly anticipated playdate w/ his best CC pal, Matthew (Optimus Prime).

So, attending a group has been another longtime goal of both mine because I know being in community is a necessary step in becoming a maturing follower of Christ and an integral part of being in relationship with Him.

Plus, it’s a great way to fellowship with other church members, make friends, provide and get support, and just have fun. Really, Bible study is fun: thought-provoking, soul-cleansing, spiritual-strengthening fun. So, yeah, I’m so psyched to be plugged into a warm and welcoming group filled with genuine folks!

Some additional coolness is that our church reimburses us for childcare to attend Bible study. And we’ve secured Callie, an amazing gal we know from CC, for the weekly babysitting gig. So nice to have all those details are worked out, too.

Gabriel hangs w/ Eli, a buddy from both CC & Awana, during a birthday party for another CC friend @ Build-A-Bear!

Learning & loving

I ditched using the iPod timer during Houston’s independent lessons soon after trying out the time-management technique. The mere presence of the tech tool was simply too much of a distraction, not to a tad stressful for him, as well.

What I do now is casually time him myself. I don’t let him know the exact amount of time; that way, he won’t obsess about the clock. Instead, I set an amount that I think would be efficient for him and then usually tack on an extra five minutes or so.

I do sometimes have to gently remind him to stay on track and/or encourage him to avoid dilly-dallying. But so far, this mellower method has proven pretty successful — a welcome tweak since Houston can sometimes be the “Slow Poke Rodriguez” of homeschooling when left to his own devices.

One thing that does bother Houston on occasion is Gabriel and Zeke’s volume. Even when they are behaving, they’re just some loud little dudes. And because of the doorless set-up of our living room and kitchen, I felt I had to get creative, instead of cracking the whip. Being a drill sergeant gets old really fast.

I almost forgot this Rebeeler self-portrait snapped down @ the bottom of Liberty Loop during the first day of the big southeast snowstorm on February 12. Brrrrrrrr!

So, I bought some children’s headphones and now let Houston listen to classic music on my iPod when he does solo work. This has been so effective with big bro that Gabriel and Zeke like to take part in the symphonic solution to our often noisy “two-room schoolhouse,” as well.

Homeschooling is oftentimes difficult and thankless, but there is surely a pay off when you see your kids making a discovery, embracing a newly learned concept, or retaining some nugget of information you were sure they hadn’t even heard you discuss.

Then every now and again, they’ll say something that just makes it all worthwhile. Houston recently told me, “I want to homeschool my kids, Mommy.” So, unless he just considers home-education a good way to torture his future offspring, I think I must be doing something right.

Houston loves tickling the ivories! Miss Julie even told me how impressed she is of his comprehension of notes & their various key positions on the piano — something that’s quite evident on his newfound improvisations.

Other February notables

  • We hosted a Boycott-the-Bowl Party with the J-Crew. No NFL, politically tinged sports commentary, commercial mania, or half-time show around here … just eating chili and chilling out with friends.
  • The boys and I saw the play “Hans Christian Andersen Tales” at the High Point Community Theater with CC.
  • Daddy took the boys to see “The Lego Movie,” with which the dudes have been obsessed ever since. Everything is awesome!
  • The clan drove to Danville to have dinner with Lisa, who was semi-nearby for work. Great seeing you, sis!
  • Houston attended Miss Julie’s Valentine’s piano party. He performed two songs, including one he had just learned the previous day. Way to go, Houston!

Minimizing distractions, maximizing Jesus

This year, I think I’ve really mastered simplifying the holiday season. But as every American knows, there are many distractions from the religious aspects of Christmas, most notably the obsessive desire for possessions.

“Simplicity is about subtracting the obvious & adding the meaningful.” ― John Maeda, graphic designer & computer scientist

In ” A Charlie Brown Christmas,” ol’ Chuck opines, “Even my own dog has gone commercial.” The consumer-crazed spending of the season was already occurring back when this classic hit TV in 1965. My how far we’ve come since then.

To counter this irreverent frenzy, Stephen and I are intentional about minimizing the materialism. We do participate in gift-giving to the kids and a few other family members. After all, this is one of the strictly Christian aspects of the holiday.

The dudes & I cozy up high on the mountaintop @ Sugar Plum during our annual outing to the choose-and-cut tree farm.

As our lead pastor explains it, Jesus is the incarnation of God as man, and He’s humanity’s second chance at a redemptive world. Jesus is the gift for healing our brokenness and sealing our salvation. It’s God’s love through a divine man.

“The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one & only Son, who came from the father, full of grace & truth.” ― John 1:14

Of course, gift-giving in our consumption-obsessed culture should be done lovingly, but also carefully and in a financially sound way (i.e., not spending more money than you have in the bank).

Hence, Stephen and I capped the amount at about $100 for each boy. Plus, I avoided toys (with walkie talkies being the exception), instead buying more useful things, like clothes, books, gardening tools, a baseball glove, a watch, etc.

Santa has been a (semi) point of contention between Stephen and me. If it were up to him, St. Nick wouldn’t visit our house. He just thinks it’s all a bit too excessive.

Zeke looks like an adorable little elf in a Christmas-tree forest during our hunt for Myrtle (our Frasier fir for 2013).

But I pushed for utilizing gift-giving as an exercise in being appreciative and grateful, and to learn to give to others willingly. And, despite their youth, the 3 Amigos have already nailed the latter vital lesson!

For their Lottie Moon donation at Awana, the dudes gave $10 each from their piggy banks. Counting all those coins served as a great math activity, but more importantly, helped solidify the importance of charity and selflessness.

The boys were surprisingly mature about handing over what is a large amount of cash to a kid. Their ungrudging giving also included another $5 each to our church’s Generous December offering, which goes 100% to supporting missionaries.

“Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.” ― Henry David Thoreau

Moreover, we’ve done Santa in year’s past, so I figured we should just let it all unfold naturally. I mean, most of the kids’ CC friends know the truth about the man in the red suite and are quite vocal about it.

Plus, I don’t really push the mythology too much. I try to answer their pressing queries in vague, open-ended ways that let them ponder the possibilities on their own, while still keeping in tune with some of the fun Santa-centric traditions.

Despite their inquiries @ the farm, like “Is that the real Santa? … He looked different than last year … How can he be here and other places at the same time? … Maybe this guy’s just an elf,” the 3 Amigos still believe!

Interestingly, despite their skeptical questions and all the mounting evidence against the existence of a real Santa and his flying reindeer, the 3 Amigos are still avid devotees of the  jolly old elf. And I think it’s simply because they want to believe.

When the dudes sent letters to Mr. Claus, Houston requested the Lego Death Star, which runs about $300! “That’s very expensive. I don’t think Santa will be leaving that under the tree,” I said. “But the elves will just make it,” he commented.

“Even Santa has to pay his elves,” I explained. “He does?” Houston asked with an air of shock. “Of course, they’re not slaves,” I continued.

After some deep thought, he finally replied, “Well, I think he pays them in candy.” Hmmm, not the economic response I was hoping for, but it shows that the anything-is-possible wonderment of childhood is alive and well for Houston.

Steady-hand Houston snaps this nice shot of Stephen, Gabriel & me heading back to Granny’s from Sugar Plum.

Then the boys received postcards from Mr. Claus and were awestruck that the return address actually said The North Pole. Houston immediately declared that he was going to show this special mail to Asher to “make him believe in Santa.”

“Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.” ― E.F. Schumacher, economist

I cherish this time so. Innocence is a rare thing and it will be gone soon enough as the kids grow up in this jaded, corrupt world of ours. But man, is it a cool thing to behold when you’re lucky enough to catch it!

Most importantly this holiday is putting into action the wise words of Tammy Wynette: “Let’s Put the Christ back in Christmas.” Her 1970 country classic called for folks to remember Jesus, despite the the increasing secularization of the season already happening some 40 years ago.

“Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” ― Psalm 46:10

Again, simplifying has been essential. For instance, we had planned to trek downtown for the Holiday Parade earlier this month, but opted instead to stay home in order to finish decorating Myrtle. And hoot chocolate and cookies helped enhance the relaxed, cozy mood!

The dudes in front of a “Dillingham Tax Service” advertisement in Avery County. This barn is on property, which served as the set for the 1989 film, “Winter People,” starring Kurt Russell & Kelly McGillis. Cool, huh?!?

I also decided to blow off a homeschool outing to Old Salem one day just so the boys and I could play hooky (a well-deserved treat ’cause we haven’t been slowing down on schooling this month). We watched Christmas shows and stayed in our PJs all day!

Then that evening, Daddy took us out for frozen yogurt to celebrate the kids’ mastering 12-weeks worth of CC memory work. Our slow-paced day enabled us to truly enjoy this chilled-out family outing — lots of nice and no naughty!

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” ― Confucius

Our trimmed-down schedule has also allowed us more time and energy to do some planned Christ-centered things, such as:

  • daily Advent lessons and activities;
  • delving more deeply into the Christmas story, from the prophecy of Jesus’ birth in Isaiah, to the nativity account in Matthew and Luke;
  • the boys’ piecing together a Christmas care package to send to the veterans’  hospital in Durham;
  • me singing in the choir for Mercy Hill’s Downtown Christmas program last weekend;
  • and a five-day Christmas devotional for kids, which the boys started today.

Here I am (just the the right of the foreground singer in green) rocking it out for Jesus during our church’s wonderful Christmas celebration. Man, do I love making a joyful sound for the Lord!

Of course, many cool holiday memories are an impromptu thing, like Houston and I having a frank conversation about some of the season’s pagan traditions, from the tree, ornaments and mistletoe, even to Christmas’ placement on the calendar.

“There is no greatness where there is not simplicity, goodness, and truth.” ― Leo Tolstoy

A low-key, less-harried calendar has also given us a greater opportunity just to be better Christians. We’ve allowed ourselves to be more joyful and hopefully spread that famous Christmas cheer.

Like the night night at the grocery store when we heard the beautiful voice of a singing Salvation Army volunteer. So, I gave Zeke a dollar, which he excitedly put into the donation bucket. The cheerful man chatted with us and let boys ring the charity’s famed bell, which is so synonymous with Christmas giving.

To top it off, a kind lady gave me a huge handful of coins to divvy out to the dudes, so they could drop money into the bucket, instead of her. She said she simply wanted to relish the 3 Amigos’ pure joy. Spontaneous happiness was afoot!

Gabriel has fun decorating an Advent box, in which we put notes of encouragement for one another to help teach compassion. This fancy container also doubles as a giving box, in which we drop little gems every time somebody does a good deed. We will put the box under the tree on Christmas Eve as our birthday gift to Jesus!

Take another night when I spotted a talented keyboardist playing Christmas carols outside the Dollar Tree. His festive music could even be heard across a busy six-lane road in another shopping center.

Although not on a huge spending spree or anything, I felt the need (and had the time) to hit multiple stores in two separate shopping centers to locate a retailer that would give me a single dollar cash back in a purchase. So, I returned to the Dollar Tree, thanking the keyboardist and gladly giving him a well-earned buck.

“But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.'” ― Luke 2:10-12

After all that, I ended up crashing my cart into a gnarly pothole in the parking lot. A nice young dad and his daughter helped me up off the pavement. And somehow in spite of my battered shin and utter embarrassment, I still had the holly-jolly holy spirit! Miracles never cease.

The Christmas-countdown chain was a favorite of mine as a kid, & my swash-buckling boys agree that it’s a winning holiday tradition!

A few other things we’ve been up to this December, include:

  • the kids and I attending Miss Christie’s 2nd annual Polar Express Party;
  • Asher spending the night and Houston losing yet another tooth (after an outing to the Children’s Museum with the J-Crew);
  • celebrating Stanley’s 11th birthday;
  • hitting the Science Center, where the dudes got to pet many friendly stingrays, the green moray eels and otters came out of hiding, and we even witnessed a shark feeding;
  • attending Daddy’s holiday work party downtown;
  • and officially wrapping up our fall homeschool semester this past Friday and looking forward to a gleeful Christmas week!

One happening that wasn’t so jolly was that Gabriel went missing at the conclusion of the Mercy Hill concert. Obviously, it was a short-lived scenario, but an extremely scary one nonetheless.

Turns out, Gabe quietly snuck away toward the stage to try to find me, as Stephen was helping brothers with their stuff. Gabriel was MIA for about 5 heart-wrenching minutes, until a sweet gal helped him locate his freaked and frantic mom in the lobby. Thank you, God, for protecting my child!

“You just believe!”

November 24, 2013, is a date Houston will always remember, for it marks the day he publicly proclaimed Christ as his Lord and savior. (Click here to see video of this momentous occasion.)

For a boy going on just 6 and a half, Houston is quite serious about his faith. He’s fascinated with Biblical history and delights in learning about the Gospel.

Houston, Gabriel and Zeke can often be found seriously discussing what they learned about in Sunday school or at Awana. Miss Christie recently overheard he and Asher talking about how important it is to get baptized and what it means to have Jesus in your heart.

A shot of Stephen & me during our final visit to Gramsey & Papa’s house — the place where we got married some 13 years ago. Although I’m happy my folks will be moving on to greener pastures, I sure will cherish those Cartersville memories!

How wonderful it is that Houston has friends and brothers who desire a closer relationship with God, as well as share a rhetorical flair for waxing theological. As a parent, it’s a cool thing to behold for sure.

Houston is introspective about what he reads in the Word and how each lesson applies to his life. Always inquisitive, Houston asks probing questions of Stephen and me, inspiring us to reflect on doctrinal complexities and ponder controversial aspects of Christianity.

So, it was no surprise that Houston had been having heart-felt considerations to get baptized for a while now. I won’t say that Stephen and I were apprehensive for him to take the plunge, so to speak, but we were definitely cautious.

Pastor Brian Croft gives five practical suggestions to determine if a child is ready in both head and heart for baptism. Parents and clergy should look for:

  1. A growing affection and need for Jesus and the gospel.
  2. A heightened understanding of the truths of Scripture.
  3. An increased kindness and selflessness towards siblings.
  4. A greater awareness and distaste for sin.
  5. A noticeable desire to obey parents

Speaking of pastures, Gabriel, Kara & Zeke hang out near Gramsey & Papa’s well-kempt pasture for the last time in early November.

We decided that Houston met all criteria, although some day more than others. And isn’t that the same every Christian? We believe, but we are broken, worldly, fallible and often times even downright disobedient and selfish. It’s the human condition after all — a fallen state of which the Bible describes countlessly.

So, Stephen and Houston went out to lunch with an associate pastor from our church to determine Houston’s understanding of this tenet of the Great Commission. And we also talked with him to make sure he grasped the seriousness of baptism — its meaning, its import, its consequence.

Our first clue of Houston’s readiness was that he started the ball rolling in seeking out the sacrament. It wasn’t something Stephen and I were really pushing; rather, Houston felt the desire to get baptized laid upon his heart and was vocal about starting the dialog.

Our next clue was Houston’s persistence. He always kept the topic near the forefront of conversations. Moreover, Houston’s earnestness seemed to convey a longing to want to make a genuine profession of faith, not just do something he thought Christians should do.

The 3 Amigos’ obsession w/ knights, warriors, ninjas & pretty much anything than entails intense fighting & creative dress recently morphed into experimentation w/ war paint. Houston seems pleased w/ the result (jagged teeth & all)!

Also, it seemed to me that Houston was cognizant of our Creator. Like the other day in the car, he said, “Look at those clouds over there, Mommy. Sometimes when the light is shining through, I think God’s talking to me.”

So, after much honest and loving deliberation, we decided that, yes, Houston was prepared to make this “outward expression of an inward reality.” And that he did. As both a parent and a Christian, I see Houston’s introspection and spiritual maturity as an inspiring thing indeed.

Plus, he’s just a sweet dude. “Do you know how much I love you?” I asked Houston after his baptism. “No,” he said. “You don’t?!” I queried. “No, because it’s probably higher that I can imagine,” he replied. Aw, that just melts a mama’s heart!

We’re at Granny’s house right now for Thanksgiving. Tomorrow, we’ll be heading to Sugar Plum Farm to get our Carolina-grown Christmas tree and frolic around on the Appalachian mountaintops! Here are some other fun things we’ve been up to lately …

On 11/6, Houston brought his pal, Alex, to Bring-A-Friend Night at Awana. The 3 Amigos were psyched that their CC buddy got to ride in the van with them across town and participate in one of their favorite times of the week.

Zeke does his best fight-’em-off jig to scare off his tribal enemies!

A couple days later, Sam, another CC friend, came over to our casa for a beautiful fall playdate. The boys ran wild playing knights in the yard, while Miss Maria and I enjoyed some much-deserved adult conversation.

In mid-November, Houston spent the night at Asher’s for his 7th birthday. The next day, Mr. Logan took the two big bros to Marbles Kids Museum in Raleigh, where much amusement and adventure were afoot.

Houston was only gone for about 24 hours, but the twins, especially Gabriel, missed him terribly. So even though they fight, get annoyed with each other and sometimes say very nasty things, I guess their brotherly bond really does run pretty deeply. Too cute!

That weekend, Daddy took the crew to the Science Center and then to see Monsters University at the dollar theater. The dudes enjoyed their first boys-only outing in quite a long time, while I appreciated the well-deserved mommy break.

Gabriel’s battle cry is the fiercest in all the land (Celtic land, that is)!

Houston lost his third baby tooth on 11/17. He hadn’t been visited by the Tooth Fairy in ages and now suddenly has three other teeth barely hanging on by a thread! So, I suppose Houston’s finally entering that snaggletooth stage of childhood, which I find so adorable.

We wrapped up our CC semester on 11/19. Can you believe we survived (er, I mean, successfully accomplished) 12 weeks of CC memory work on top of our other curriculum and studies? Way to go, boys!

The next day, I attended my first Bible study — something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but simply haven’t had the time, until now. However, the group happens to fall on the same day as Awana.

We live pretty far out from town and doing both (with boys in tow for each) was actually quite the exhausting feat. But I do yearn to grow spiritually through community and hope I can stick it out for the long run … well, at least through the holidays.