Category Archives: Travel

My Life: The Reality Show

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It has been a trying few weeks, to say the least. It all began on our first outing with MOPS on 10/18 when the boys and I met up with some moms and kiddies at Homeland Creamery.

We were ready to spend this crisp fall morning on a Piedmont dairy farm. But once we piled onto the tractor for the hayride, Zeke decided that he didn’t like hayrides: too slow, too full of hay, too many stops and too many rules (read: the one rule of “don’t stand while the tractor is moving”), yet definitely not enough close encounters with cows, blah blah blah.

Zeke (left) & Gabriel place flowers on a Houston family grave.

Unfortunately, Zeke’s complaints had on effect on his otherwise happy bros — such is the challenge of being a mom of multiple kids. Here and there, Gabriel and Houston would be disrespectful or blatantly contrary, but overall, they were pretty content and mannerly. And with Zeke having intermittent respites from the insanity, we survived the playdate fairly unscathed. However, this junket was just a harbinger of the familial struggles to come.

Zeke’s boisterous rebellions continued on into 10/19. Couple that with Houston and Gabe’s fair share of sporadic pre-K mischief, and I was worn out by the time we headed up to Virginia for my sister’s wedding, and a bit frantic for the Thursday-night wedding rehearsal.

Luckily, Lisa and Albert are such a natural, relaxed and loving couple that by the time the Friday-night wedding took place, I had gained some perspective and composure. It was a simple and beautiful ceremony, and I was honored to do the chosen New Testament readings and intercessions. Thanks, y’all, for allowing me to be a part of your awesome wedding!

Big brother shores up the flower decoration efforts.

That’s not to say that Zeke had abandoned challenging parental authority. In fact, he was so insubordinate during his pre-wedding bath that we almost kept him home from the marital festivities. But luckily, the rebellions were infrequent and short-lived.

The Saturday party at my parents’ house served as a catharsis for my ailing mommy soul. Things kicked off when Stephen was awakened at 4 a.m. to help Albert cook the whole pig and decapitated lamb over a charcoal rotisserie set up in the back driveway, got rocking with a bluegrass band and continued on until the wee hours. Families grew stronger and friendships were made.

That glorious Saturday, we rarely saw a perpetually gleeful Houston, who was trekking all over Gramsey and Papa’s property with an always-adventurous Cousin Kara. Gabriel and Zeke had a blast dutifully following the big kids around, and were certainly lavished with tons of attention in between exploits.

By 10/28, Zeke decided it was time to take a bold stand over what he saw as an inequity of toy trains during a playdate at Miss Lorrie’s, as well as vehemently voicing his concerns over the lack of track maintenance. And then this dramatic misbehavior reared its ugly head again en route to the NC Transportation Museum on 10/29, when Zeke decided to have a spaz over a fallen shoe.

The forearm tattoo of Ethan Houston of Johnson City, Tenn.

See, we were taking the whole family to ride the Halloween Train and meet up with some Charlotte friends as part of Gabriel and Zeke’s belated birthday present. So, we thought it would be a proper punishment to let all the kids (less Zeke) ride the train. This didn’t seem to have much effect on him, since he got to participate in all the other choo-choo-centric fun around the museum. Interestingly, he was actually quite well-behaved post-shoe-meltdown.

Then Zeke decided that Halloween was a good day to test boundaries, but on an amplified level. In the midst of ensuing chaos, I figured that I may as well seize the moment and start breaking Zeke of his thumb-sucking habit. After all, he was already being belligerent, so why not go ahead and paint Mavala Stop (the yucky-tasting stuff I had already bought) on his thumb nail?!

Despite our efforts to cut Zeke some slack, he made it abundantly clear that he didn’t want to be a team player or follow by the rules. Let’s just sum it up by saying that we didn’t let Zeke go trick-or-treating on Halloween. Can you imagine how drastic it was that we felt it necessary to have him miss out on the memorable holiday?!

Houston and Gabriel were concerned about Zeke at first, but trick-or-treating with neighborhood friends helped them get over that pretty quickly. They also had no qualms about devouring candy — which Zeke was prohibited to do that night — right in front of their treatless-bro when they returned home from their spooky escapades.

Granny gathers her boys @ the family cemetery entrance.

November has seen a drastically better-behaved Zeke and much happier family unit as a result. However, he has had full-fledge tantrums three out of the first four days of this month. These hysterical fits, which last up to an hour, have all taken place right when Zeke awakes from his nap. And just as quickly as they begin, they end and he is back to being himself … like the flick of switch.

From all the research I’ve done, I’m convinced that the cause of this behavior (which is considered normal in kids his age) is three-fold.

  1. Zeke’s horrible nighttime cough had been keeping him from getting much restful sleep beginning in late October, so I’m sure the fatigue built up to an intolerable level. (Luckily, his asthma meds are finally doing their job and his cough and sleep have improved in the past couple of days.)
  2. Zeke’s normal post-nap ritual of quietly chilling in his crib with fleece blankie and dependable thumb is no longer an option. This is obviously causing him immense grief and frustration.
  3. And breaking the thumb-sucking habit presents both a struggle with gaining independence and learning a new skill: he needs to be a big boy and not use his thumb as a pacifier.

In addition, we’re going to try giving both Zeke and Gabriel an increased feeling of autonomy with upping our potty-training efforts, having the twins use regular (not sippy) cups a lot more often, finally assembling one of our conversion cribs into a toddler bed, and moving bunk beds way up to the top of our to-buy list.

Gabriel & Zeke attend their first Grasshoppers game in August 2011.

Now if we could just break Zeke of his new favorite habit of putting objects in the potty; Gabriel of his penchant for ear-piercing whining; and Houston of his (thankfully) scarce vexation-induced outbursts of “I hate all things and want to die and don’t want to go to heaven,” we’d be all set. Ah, kids.

Believe it or not, before, during and after all this craziness, a lot of cool and memorable stuff has been taking place.

On 10/13, Stephen and I made our mortgage refinance official, locking in 15-year rate of 3.25%, down almost three points from our original contract. We had to take the 3 Amigos to the law office for the paperwork signing and they behaved brilliantly, coloring at one end of the huge, fancy legal table while we tended to our business at the other end.

Stephen and I celebrated our wedding anniversary on 10/14. Eleven years and we haven’t killed each other yet!

Houston chugs lemonade from our 3rd baseline seats.

Gabriel and Zeke’s birthday party took place on 10/15. We had a few Moms Club pals, our neighborhood posse, Granny and Grumps, Miss Jessie and some other friends over for an old-school fall bash, featuring bobbing for apples, a scavenger hunt, pin the tail on the donkey and a pinata. Our double trouble (who actually turned 3 on 10/16) had a blast, as did everyone else.

We wrote messages on the twins’ birthday balloons and released them into the sky on 10/24. The boys beamed with wonder as they watched the balloons ascend to the heavens. It was a creative way to get rid of the balloons, which so often cause fights between my boys.

Gabriel spit toothpaste into the sink for the first time on 10/25. He still hasn’t mastered the technique, but he’s getting there.

We attended Houston’s final t-ball game as a family on 10/26. What a nice way to end such a great season!

We attended the Moms Club Halloween party on 10/27.  The dudes looked so adorable in their homemade costumes (thanks, Miss Jessie). So, yes, there will be a few pics of Zeke dressed up as a pumpkin from this outing, as well as plenty of Houston as ghost and Gabriel as Vader from this party and from Halloween.

Zeke waits patiently to hug the Chick-fil-A cow.

I implemented the new 30-minute mealtime rule on 11/1. That’s how long the kids get to eat and not a second longer. This has made mealtime — which had become a dreadfully arduous task — a much more pleasant and efficient experience for me, and a more mannerly effort for the kids.

We went on our second MOPS outing on 11/2 to Backyard Paradise. The 3 Amigos (namely Zeke) made a much better impression than was made at the dairy farm. The kids loved climbing the huge play systems and bouncing on trampolines; Houston enjoyed spending time with his new buddy, Asher; and I actually got some time to talk with Miss Christie about homeschooling.

The vaccines Gabriel and Zeke got on 11/3 puts them one step closer to being caught up on their schedule. Only two more shots to go before they’re AAP-approved and we can start shopping around for a new pediatrician. Yay!

Gabriel thinks, “Who says you actually have to watch the game?”

What could have been an all-out crazy errand yesterday turned out to be a little less crazy and fun to boot due to my awesome friends. After a playgroup, I dropped the boys off for burgers at Wendy’s with Miss Lorrie, Miss Amy and their kids; took the van across the busy street to get an oil change; battled traffic, the wind and rain during my run back to the restaurant; ate my grub while the boys devoured their desserts; kept the kids occupied with balled-up napkin games and bubblegum-wrapper airplanes till the hour-plus car service was completed.

And going the extra mile, Miss Lorrie gave us a back-of-the-van ride to retrieve our vehicle, breaking the law in an effort to keep us safe and dry. Upon opening up the door to let us unload from the rear of her van, I joked that my life should be a reality show. Perhaps it could be called “It Doesn’t Take a Village, It Takes a Straightjacket” … for the kids, of course, not me. Well, I suppose that’s negotiable.

Click the above shot to check out photos of the family’s baseball outing and the tattoo to see pics from the Houston Family Reunion, both of which took place in August.

Don’t Eat the Berries

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We had a little scare yesterday … the boys were playing hide-and-seek with Dixie and her older siblings, while I took the opportunity to have some adult conversation with Miss Shawn. Gabe waltzes up, complaining about the goop on his hands. Not long after freaking over the mystery pink coloration on his skin, we looked over and saw what seemed to be Zeke eating berries off of a weed.

Gabriel didn’t have any of the bright berry residue on his face, so I was pretty sure he didn’t consume any. However, Zeke had some on his mouth and lips, although we didn’t spot any remnants on his tongue or teeth.

Zeke looks for veggies (not pokeweed) @ Gramsey & Papa’s.

“Did you eat any berries?” I inquired. “Yes,” Zeke replied.

“How many?” I asked. “Two,” he said confidently.

Barely contained panic set in. I feverishly corralled the kids and got them across the street to our house to try to gain some perspective.

I thought the plant was called milkweed, but my quick Internet search proved otherwise. Stephen advised that I just call Poison Control to see what they had to say about the situation and its ambiguous details. After describing the plant, the agent said it sounded like pokeweed and asked me to verify that through an online search. Indeed, she was right.

Luckily, pokeweed tastes gnarly, so most kids don’t eat more than one or two, and it’s when someone eats more than six or so that it can be harmful. It’s not poisonous, but it can cause some nasty gastrointestinal issues, which have to be dealt with via home remedies. Needless to say, the boys are all fine, but are in dire need of some additional “don’t eat the berries, or anything else you find outside, unless Mommy says it’s okay” training.

Tough-guy Gabriel tries to lift the heavy bowl of produce.

The kids and I attended our second MOPS gathering on Tuesday. A MOPS veteran whose three kids are now teenagers spoke quite humorously about her motherhood experiences — from the first moments of being convinced she was the perfect mother, to the very-soon-thereafter stage of realizing that motherhood is anything but perfect, to all the chaos, doubt, frustration and perma-guilt that followed.

Her funny and poignant message struck home with me because I, like other moms, have such enormous responsibility, yet so often feel like I don’t have the time or ability to make it all happen in an efficient and healthy way for my family. Sure, I know intellectually that I can’t be Super Mom, but a mother’s heart is sometimes just irrationally heavy with a myriad of concerns.

A few things the speaker said that will hopefully help me get through those intermittent “heavy” moments:

  • Go for excellence in the household, not perfection. Leave the rest to God.
  • Don’t compare my weaknesses to someone else’s strengths.
  • Be gracious because, Lord knows, I’m going to need it.
  • And the best one … I’m not perfect, but I am the perfect mom for my kids!

Papa instructs the boys on proper veggie-picking techniques.

We’ve had one costume change since the last blog. Houston now wants to be a ghost, instead of a storm trooper. Since none of the boys’ costumes are that fancy or intricate (ghost, pumpkin and Vader, and we already have the mask for the latter), Jessie, the kids and I are going to homemake the get-ups, just like my mom and I did when I was a wee-bit gal. It’ll be a great seasonal craft for the 3 Amigos and a money-saver to boot.

This weekend will be first time ever that Gabriel and Zeke will be apart from one another for any significant amount of time (with the exception being Zeke’s surgery, when the twins were just 8 months old). We figured it was high time to give half of the double-trouble team some solo time away from his genetically identical cohort, big bro and the ‘rents.

So, Granny and Grumps are hosting one dude at their house for the entire weekend, while the other stays back at the homestead. Not sure how it’s all going to pan out, but regardless, I think it is a necessary step that each boy needs to make in order to grow into a healthy, well-balanced individual.

Houston proudly tosses a zucchini into the bowl.

And to determine who gets spoiled by Granny, I’m keeping score of every instance that Gabe and Zeke say, whine, scream or cry “no” to my requests. Each time one utters the two-letter word, he gets a “naughty mark.” And the person with the fewest marks wins some much-need “me” time in the mountains. At present, Zeke is in the lead for the dream vacation.

I’m still trudging away on catching up on photos, but you can enjoy a bunch of July memories (by clicking on the above pic) of the boys picking veggies with Gramsey and Papa.

I’m Freakin’ 40!

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Yep, I was born four decades ago on 8/30. Man, 1971 was far out. Can you dig it?

Highlights & lowlights from the groovy & radical year

  • The median household income (in current dollars) is $9,028
  • A gallon of gas is 40 cents
  • A postage stamp goes from 6 to 8 cents
  • Richard Nixon is president and removes the gold/silver backing from the US dollar
  • The US Supreme Court rules that busing public schoolchildren may be ordered to achieve racial integregation
  • The 26th Amendment to the US Constitution is ratified, lowering the voting age to 18
  • Abortion is still an issue left up to the states
  • Nixon says “the end is in sight” about war in Vietnam, although the final withdrawal of troops is four years away

Zeke says, “Play-doh rocks!”

  • Charles Manson receives the death penalty
  • Jim Morrison dies at age 27 and Duane Allman at age 24
  • Films include “Love Story,” “Dirty Harry” and “Willy Wonka”
  • TV shows are “The Partridge Family” and “The Odd Couple”
  • Hit songs are “Brown Sugar” and “Maggie Mae”
  • The innovative year sees the introduction of the soft contact lens, the cat scan and the microprocessor
  • DuPont discovers Kevlar
  • Sharp creates the pocket calculator
  • IBM attributes first-use of the floppy disk
  • Programmer Ray Tomlinson creates the first network-based email, using the “@” symbol to separate user from machine.

Gabriel agrees, “Play-doh is great stuff!”

The big four-oh

We began the low-key celebration the weekend before my birthday. Stephen treated me to an early-morning nap on Saturday while he fed the kids’ breakfast. Then per my request, we feasted on Chinese food take-out for dinner.

I began my birthday day renewing my license at the DMV. Not quite Hawaii (where I was on my 30th birthday), but it actually wasn’t as torturous as I thought it would be.

That night, we had a lovely dinner at a Mexican restaurant. Stephen and Houston had to bolt a bit early as not to be late t-ball practice. (Yep, Houston’s finally playing t-ball, which makes Daddy very happy. He hasn’t had a game yet, but he’s really into it so far. It doesn’t hurt that his team is led by Coach Holder — his coach from basketball, who Houston just adored.)

Before he left, Stephen notified our waiter that it was my birthday. Thus, the wait staff sang me the obligatory birthday ditty in Spanish, made me wear a sombrero and then put whipped cream on my nose. Gabriel and Zeke were fascinated by the whole exhibition.

“Play-doh gives me the giggles,” Houston remarks.

Pleasurable play groups

August was jam-packed with play dates. A particularly fun one was with Miss Beth, Matthew and Jonathan on 8/19. I brought the boys’ stock of toy swords, shields, guns and light sabers, not knowing if this would be a smart or regrettable decision. Turns out it was a brilliant move ’cause every kid at the park (including girls) ended up sharing the weapons and doing battle injury-free.

On 8/27, Moms Club had its summer party at a marina, where the group had rented a pontoon boat. After playing and eating, we scored a ride on the boat’s initial trek around the lake. Being the twins first time on a boat and Houston’s first on a motorized vessel (except one time when he was a baby), the kids were thrilled.

The kids were also excited about throwing rocks into the lake, so much so that Gabriel walked into the water with his shoes on and then slipped into a shallow area when barefoot. Of course, the next boat ride was taking off right during his comedic plunge, so all the passengers saw Gabe’s goof in typical 3-Amigo style. Classic.

Kindermusik — a hands-on musical-immersion program for children — gave a free demo at the Moms Club social on 8/25. I ended up just taking the twins ’cause Dina and Kara were in town. Gabe and Zeke had a sublime time making music and playing with friends, while I enjoyed the break of having a little lighter load.

“Play-doh is so versatile,” explains hat-man Zeke.

Awesome outings & travel

While the twins and I were out, Dina and Kara took Houston to his first visit to Chuck E. Cheese. Needless to say, it was paradise for him. And then that afternoon, a nearby gas station/eatery had a day-before-school-starts celebration, which had free pizza, slushies, goody bags and a huge inflatable slide. A fun, but exhausting day.

We headed up to the mountains for the annual Houston Family Reunion on 8/21. It was nice to see familiar faces, like Cousin Terry, Uncle Clay and Aunt Naomi, as well as get to meet some distant relatives on Stephen’s side of the family.

It was amusing to beckon our Houston from afar and have about half the people in the room think I was calling them. And come to find out, there is a Houstonville, NC, which was settled by the ancestors of the same name and is located just a couple hours away.

On 8/28, we went to see the Greensboro Grasshoppers. It was the twins’ first-ever baseball game and Houston’s first of 2011. The boys did amazingly well devouring hotdogs and popcorn while in our seats. Then we played on the inside-the-stadium playground for most of the game, while Daddy got his baseball fix.

The game was super-hero theme, so the boys donned their capes and saw Buzz Lightyear, Spidey, Wonder Girl and Captain America; although, they were as impressed with the Chik fil-A cow. The kids got to run the bases at the end of the game, which was a spectacle, for sure. Thanks for the tickets, Uncle Greg!

“Yep, Play-doh hats are all the rage,” adds Cousin Kara.

Today, we went on what was supposed to be an apple-picking outing with Moms Club, but the orchard was out of pick-your-own apples. The other moms decided to leave, but we stayed and opted go on a nature hike instead. The orchard was teeming with friendly Blue Monarch butterflies, other cool critters and big tractors.

We ended up finding a huge Golden Delicious that the boys shared and three small Red Delicious apples for each. They were happy as clams with our small score. And honestly, I think the kids had as much fun throwing rotten apples as they would have picking them.

The boys’ banter

On the way drive home, Houston asked me about something I knew he would eventually notice: “Mommy, why is half my head wet and the other half dry?” I reminded that when Mommy was giving birth to him that he was cozy and didn’t want to come out. This not only gave him his “special eye,” but it also keeps him from sweating on the left side of his head/face. And that was that.

Pregnancy and child birth is an oft-talked-about topic with the kids. Recently, Houston brought up an inevitable topic — one I thought would come much later. He asked, “Mommy, how do babies come out?” Daddy and I decided (and hoped) that answering “the birth canal” would suffice. It did … for a second. Then he queried with wondrous curiosity, “”Is it, like, a hole?” I simply replied, “Yes, yes, it is,” praying he would lose interest. He has … for now.

Zeke went through a stage where he would say “I hate people!” when he found himself stymied by a task. “Do you really hate people?” we asked. “Yes, but I like babies,” he replied. And then “I hate baby owls!” was a standard for a while after that. Luckily, Zeke has discovered the word “frustrated.” The baby owls are now safe.

I’m quite proud of this still nature shot — one of my best to date.

Gabriel’s way of expressing angst is exclaiming (with clinched fist, of course), “Oh, no, not again!” He just looks like a little angry man when he does it. Luckily, he still loves people, babies and owls.

And both Zeke and Gabriel like to yell, “Sing it, Mommy,” when we’re jamming our Veggie Tales CDs in the car.

The funny, profound, witty, silly, poignant and adorable things the twins say are too voluminous to cite them all. And much of their progress with speech, comprehension and overall communication is due to their yearlong relationship with Miss Pat. They had their final sessions with her this week and it was bitter sweet. Sure, we’re all ready to move on, but she has become such an integral part of our lives. Thanks for everything, “pretty Pat!”

They’ll be info on Miss Jessie, church and other awesome stuff in the next blog. I’m also playing catch-up on pics. These Play-doh shots are from Kara’s visit all the way back in June. Click the top photo for part 1 and the above one of HL and Kara for part 2.