A week ago tomorrow was one of my worst days as a mom. It started off like any typical morning when the boys wake up simultaneously with with soiled diapers, hungry bellies and cranky attitudes — all demanding instant gratification from an avowed non-morning person, who’s armed with only a lot of love, but has only two hands and a shaky constitution, since there’s no chance of a coffee-making opportunity in sight.

Houston cools off in his kiddy pool.

After tending to everyone’s immediate needs, I decided to go pump, but got sidetracked when I had to stop and deal with (more) of the twins’ incessant puking. (Seriously, folks. Gabriel and Zeke’s reflux is so bad that I wiped vomit off of them, the mat, the floor, me, Houston and their toys for an hour and 40 minutes that morning, and that wasn’t even a notably pukey spell, just about average.)

While pumping, I remembered I had forgotten to put up the gate to keep the twins out of the kitchen. I called for Houston and asked him to check if Gabriel had gotten into the cat food — one of his favorite things to investigate as of late. Houston ran back to me and said, “Bruv-uhr cat eat.” I raced down the hall to discover that Houston was right. Gabriel had the food in his mouth, but luckily had not chewed or swallowed any.

I proceeded to scrape the cat food out of his mouth, but scared Houston and him in the process. Gabriel was screeching and Houston, who mistook that he had done something wrong, said, “Bad corner.” Poor child thought he was in trouble and was getting a time out when he was the big boy who saved little brother from choking to death.

Knocking things down brings much pleasure to bruiser-boy Gabriel.

So there I was, stretched thin, still without caffeine, boobs hanging out, breast milk dripping down my belly, screaming babies all around. And to top things off, Miss Heather was supposed to help out that day, but was running very late because her car wouldn’t start. Well, I called Stephen to “vent” (if that’s what you want to call it), so he decided to take a “vacation” day to come home and help me recuperate from my subsequent meltdown.

Since then, we have implemented a few much-need tweaks around the zoo.

• Containment policy: We now put the gate up in the doorway of the twins’ room, where Gabriel and Zeke can now crawl and puke and explore and puke and play and puke to their hearts’ content. Outside of the nursery, they can be held, sit in their high chairs, bounce in their jumpers or hang out in the pack-n-play.
• Guy time: Stephen is going to take Houston for an outing every weekend, whether it’s to the store, a baseball game, the park, a birthday party or wherever. That way, I can have a little break from the terrible twos and hopefully get a few things accomplished in and around the house, while Houston and Daddy can spend some quality time together.

Zeke has a blast exploring life off of the mat.

• More Heather = happy Mommy: We have trimmed some more financial fat so that we can now swing paying Miss Heather to help out with child care and household stuff eight hours a week, instead of only four.
• Free at last: On Monday, I officially kicked breast-feeding and pumping. Breast-feeding had become too painful, and pumping milk for bottles had become too tedious and time-consuming. So, I didn’t make it a year, but nine months breast-feeding twins is still pretty darn good, if I do say so myself.

Things have been going “bed-uhr,” as Houston would say, with our post-meltdown policies. Yes, it’s still a zoo, but a much more tolerable zoo, with two more relaxed and in-control zoo keepers and their three wild monkeys.

The nursery play area has also helped Zeke, who officially crawled a good distance from point A to B (not just around in circles) on 7/17. I think the smaller space inspired the physical milestone, since the nursery is not near as intimidating as our huge living room. Plus, he seems much less frustrated, since Gabriel can’t really leave him in the dust like he was able to do when the terrain of exploration was more expansive.

Houston & Zeke get silly outside.

Other notables:

• On 7/14, Zeke had his last post-surgical appointment with Dr. Petty, who reports that Zeke has done remarkable with his recovery. Soooooooooo glad that chapter of Z-Bird’s life is finally over.
• Today the twins had their nine-month check-up at the pediatrician. Gabriel weighs 18 pounds, 1 1/2 ounces; Zeke is not far behind at 17 pounds, 7 1/2 ounces. However, Zeke is longer at 27 7/8″; Gabriel is 27″. Both of their heads are 18 1/8″ around.
• Houston’s allergies and eczema are much more bearable as of late. We still do the treatments and meds when necessary, but not nearly as frequently as was the case in late spring and early summer.
• Houston is a man on the go. He has already attended one birthday party recently and has three more coming up soon.
• “Mock” is what Houston calls our celebratory fist bumps. Not sure where that originates, but it’s too cute!
• Click the above photo of Houston and Zeke to view all the July pics so far.